GOA MUST SECEDE

GOA MUST SECEDE


SAUVIK CHAKRAVERTI



I hang around in Goa these days, drinking feni every evening. At just 50 bucks a bottle. You cannot get feni in Delhi. There is no trade between Goa and Delhi, where the retail trade of alcoholic beverages is a state monopoly-cum-monopsony: the most kleptocratic official policy ever invented. Sonia Gandhi just came to Goa, and inaugurated an IT something-or-the-other. But Goan feni she did not buy. What is the point of this "Union of India"? Reminds me of that line from Morrison: "Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mine". Goa must therefore secede. The question to ask then is: What do we do after that?

Goa is a tourist paradise, so "foreign exchange" is abundant, though the quality of this money is suspect, as I have pointed out in many of my writings. Tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Why do tourists come to Goa? The answer: Mainly to smoke good, cheap cannabis. I have proposed to some friends that we set up a company called The Honourable Bhola Unlimited Company Ltd. to manufacture and sell Bhola Spliffs: Ganesh ka Baap ka bidi. Also on the compnay's product list will be Bhola Cola: a bhang ki thandai whose recipe will be a company secret. Subscriptions to this company will only be accepted in gold. All this gold will be deposited in the The Honourable Bhola Unlimited Bank Ltd., which will keep a 100 per cent reserve and issue notes against it, which Goans can use: Sound Money.

If The Honourable Bhola Unlimited Company Ltd. and The Honourable Bhola Unlimited Bank Ltd. act like the Honourable East India Company, then these companies can take over the administration and expend some of their profits, which will surely be considerable, on "public goods" like roads – far wider than the " Goa constrictors" of today. I live in south Goa, and getting to north Goa is impossible. If these honourable companies invest in roads, courts and policing, and perform the latter two jobs well, the good people of Goa will welcome anarcho-capitalism and anarcho-capitalist government. There need not be any taxation.

Such a regime will also have to seek international recognition, for which purpose I have proposed that one diplomat be sent to King Hassan of Morocco, carrying gifts of feni, Bhola Spliffs and Bhola Cola, and pure gold to trade for King Hassan Hashish. This will enable The Honourable Bhola Unlimited Company to manufacture King Hassan Spliffs, which will also be hugely popular among the tourists here. The song: Marrakesh Express! "All on board that train!"